We are not a kindergarten!
I hear such exclamations at every second management course. And has to answer: Yes! We may be adults, but the dominant behaviour patterns in many leadership situations are developed in childhood:
- This toy is mine.
- You are my friend. You are my enemy. The enemies of my friends are also my enemies. Etc...
That's not childish. That is Limbic! The limbic system is a very old part of the brain. It developed early in our evolution. It's our reptilian brain, so to speak: eat or die. Attack, escape, deception.
The cow's brain is placed on top: it can enjoy itself, stare around in the neighbourhood.
And on the very outside is the human brain. This is where, for example, impulse control and frustration tolerance reside. It tries to keep the other two brains somewhat in check. Sometimes more successful, sometimes less.
We are more or less born with the reptilian brain and the cow brain. The human brain only got off to a good start at around the age of twenty.